Is There a Recipe for Love?

valentine-transparent

Just in time for Valentine’s Day!

A group has joined together with a lovely project to honor Stacy Peterson and Kathleen Savio and raise money to bolster the efforts of domestic violence organizations. They are putting together a cookbook called “Recipe for Hope”.

This is no plain, ordinary cookbook; but a cookbook with recipes as well as safety tips for women caught in the cycle of abuse. They need your recipes!

If you would like to participate, write out your favorite recipe, add your name (or nickname) and city, if you like, and email it to: recipesforstacy@gmail.com

Or in lieu of a tasty dish, feel free to contribute a recipe of tips for someone who is looking to safely get out of the cycle of abuse! These valuable tips will be included in the cookbook in recipe form…sort of like:

  • 1oz. call mom every day
  • 1C self-defense classes
  • stir in a pinch of caution and don’t let it boil over!

All of the printing costs have been generously donated to this project and proceeds will go to Groundwork at the Guardian Angel Home, in Joliet, Illinois. This is the shelter that received the proceeds from the one-year anniversary walk for Lisa Stebic. Had Kitty or Stacy looked for shelter in their area, this is the place they would have been referred to.

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49 thoughts on “Is There a Recipe for Love?

  1. Tamara Holder added a post to her blog today, but it looks as if it got cut off. The one thing she said is…..WHAT?

    Drew Peterson’s Girlfriend Moves Back In – His Mind-Games Prevail

    Thursday, February 12, 2009 at 05:00PM

    Drew Peterson’s fiancée or girlfriend or housemate or whatever you want to call her, Christina Raines, apparently moved back in with Drew earlier this week. She had moved out of his house a few weeks ago after her father, Ernie Raines, and father of her children, Mike, “saved her” from Drew.

    As you know, I spoke to the Christina in-depth the day she moved out of the house. Her stories of Drew depicted a man who is controlling and flat-out creepy. Some of the things she said are so creepy that I do not want to share them with you. The one thing she said

    http://tamaraholder.squarespace.com/blog/2009/2/12/drew-petersons-girlfriend-moves-back-in-his-mind-games-preva.html#comments

  2. Facs,

    Seems odd indeed. Is the reason Ernie didn’t have Christina’s number is because Peterson give her the phone?

    Let me know if I missed something

  3. Regarding your post, Facs … I thought Kathleen Savio had contacted a domestic violence shelter … Guardian something … it was on the hospital report.

    Was that something the hospital did? Just contacted that shelter?

  4. He’ll be worried that her phone’s been “enhanced” by LE, and the nice new one he has for her has GPS all up and running…and his listening device. Take the battery out, Christina!

  5. You made me chuckle; it’s also very sad but very true. If I were her, I’d buy one of those necklaces for emergency alert.

    I don’t think Christina is stupid, my friends. I think she’s the victim of an old pro’s mind games.

  6. I think so too, Tamara. Her heart has obviously gone out to Stacy’s babies. He already has called her a bad person for leaving them when she moved out.

  7. Thanks so much for the update, Tamara!

    As far as calling Christina stupid, I’ll repost what I posted earlier today:

    February 12, 2009 at 12:24 pm
    I still have yet to see a quote from Christina recanting her statement that the engagement was ‘more like a stunt’.

    I know Ernie called around and spoke for her, I’ve seen Drew and Joel both speaking for her.

    Lately, it’s this aspect of things that has really been bothering me. I know it’s not on the same level but remember when one of Jeffrey Dahmer’s victims freed himself and was wandering, bleeding and naked down the corridor of his apartment building? The cops came and Dahmer explained that his ‘friend’ was drunk and apologized. So the cops returned the hostage to Dahmer’s care, tittering with disgust and embarassment. He immediately killed the boy.

    I know I’ve called the woman stupid and I think she is, but I still get all kinds of alarms going off when I see a bunch of men herding a young woman back and forth between them, speaking for her, hushing her up, controlling her.

    It frightens me, actually.

    I appreciate the talk you had with Christina and the success you had with her. I have no doubt that she will again, at some, point come to her senses and get herself and those kids out of that man’s house.

  8. Look at her father’s behavior. A total control freak. It only makes sense she would find the same qualities in the men whom she chooses to date. It frightens me too.

    I gave her my information and told her to contact me if she got nervous or needed some guidance. Hopefully, she gets some therapy and makes the right decision to move out for good.

  9. Oke Drew may be a master manipulator etc, but if Christina was in his house initially and noticed “creepy” things about him to the extent they cannot be made public, what does that say about her moving back in (with her children no less)for a second time ??

    Are the things she noticed now suddenly not “creepy” anymore ?

    Please help me as I’m confused now too !

  10. Of course they are still creepy to her! But this is about Drew and his powerful ability to manipulate and control women. Whatever he did, he lured her right back into his home. You stated your own case: he’s so good that he got her back in spite of the bizarre situation inside the home.

  11. We know how good Drew is at the con. As much as his PR people try to promote him as simply a loving dad, he can’t stop relishing the pleasure he gets from fooling and controlling people.

    He did one yesterday when he agreed to ambush Geraldo on the phone!

  12. Of course he wanted to ambush Geraldo! It would be another opportunity for Drew to get some face time on TV. I hope Geraldo doesn’t feed the monster.

  13. As far as Ernie being “controlling”

    Show me a father anywhere that would encourage his daughter to move in/ has marriage plans with a double murder suspect and that would be the first father not considered “controlling”

    I don’t find it so surprising Ernie is freaking out and wanting to get his daughter as far away from Drew as he can, problem is – Drew is thoroughly enjoying tormenting Ernie and watch him squirm !

    Remember Drew is into “sadistic fun”

  14. You make a great point. My dad would probably show up to the house with a chainsaw and saw open the door to get me. That said, usually women who date controlling men do so b/c of patterns learned from their father or other men in their life. Did you see her interview with dad on the Today show? He was fully in control of that one. The reason for her silence was because she did not want to be there, not because she had nothing to say.

  15. I think he’s using the children to blackmail her.That’s exactly where I’d be vulnerable, feeling the children needed me. There may have been some disappointment for the children to have moved out. 4 and 5yr olds with ready-made playmates and brand new beds and 2 big boys to hang with…bet they said yay when she told them they were goimg back.

  16. Yes I did see Christina was sitting there like she did not want to be there, especially when her Dad was saying Drew should be looking for his missing wife instead of getting engaged to the next one !

    He made some very good points in saying that but it appeared to be completely lost on Christina (!!)

  17. I wonder if she has quit her job? That’s one more area of control he’ll want her to give up.

    Once she’s financially dependent on him it’s going to be very hard for her to get out of that house.

  18. Not sure if she quit her job. You are right though. Once she quits, she loses a huge part of her independence. She didn’t quit before (I met her at the job after the first breakup) but maybe she will now…we shall see…

  19. It is the old adage:

    “You can take a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink”

    Unless Christina figures out for herself what she has gotten herself into, no one can make her see any different.

  20. By the same token I also believe Tamara to be a much better source to guide/advise Christina then all these different men/boyfriends whatever claiming to have her best interest at heart.

  21. Interesting article by Dr. Gail Saltz up on the Today show website. Here’s a taste:

    Why do women fall for Drew Peterson?
    Dr. Gail Saltz explains the odd allure of an older, possibly dangerous man

    ****

    It is a huge red flag when a women is told by her partner that she will be loved and protected, but is discouraged from associating with others.

    An insecure man may try to make himself feel more powerful by controlling a woman and isolating her so she is dependent on him. When a man systematically cuts off his girlfriend’s relationships with family and friends, the situation is ripe for either emotional or physical abuse.

    There might also be an element of the excitement of sadomasochism in this kind of relationship. Many people would run for the hills if asked out by somebody under suspicion for killing his wives. But some women feel excitement at the threat of violence and danger or even may feel they deserve punishment and are therefore are drawn to a high-risk situation.

    Sociopaths can often be charming, smooth and seductive, so some women easily fall into his trap. And these women might like the idea they are so super-special that they can win the competition — they can be the one to “tame the beast,” so to speak. A young woman frightened by the prospect of being a single mother can be at risk for being seduced with a promise of caretaking, and buy into promises that she is so wonderful he would never hurt or leave her.

    Leaving your fiancé and then returning suggests intense ambivalence about committing to this relationship. Denial of reality is often used to keep at bay whatever seems most scary and concerning about a relationship. It takes a mature and grounded person to be willing to tolerate the anxiety of examining the pros and cons of an impending marriage, rather than going with the allure of unconscious wishes to be taken care of and the excitement of being the center of media attention. Anyone in this situation should take the counsel of friends and loved ones, and make a thoughtful, rational decision, especially when children are involved.

    More at:

    http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/29168542/

  22. All that anyone can do at this point with Chrissy is to make sure she knows to reach out to someone. She just seemed like a lost little girl that was being forced to chose between her daddy, her current boyfriend, and Drew. Don’t know how Drew came out on top of that one but he did.

    Seeing as how the alleged father of her children is currently in jail (or in some legal process) for DV related to Chrissy – she does not have the belief in herself that she is worthy of having a nice guy to be a partner with instead of someone to control her.

  23. Sohka (Tony)Yauk.

    He’s been in jail since Jan 23rd.

    Yauk — the purported father of the two children of Drew Peterson’s latest love interest — was taken into custody after failing to appear for a court date ordered as part of his guilty plea to a 2006 domestic battery.

    The plea deal saw Yauk, 26, sentenced to 26 days in the county jail. He also was fined, ordered to attend domestic battery counseling and forbidden to make “offensive contact” with the victim of the battery, who happens to be 24-year-old Christina Raines, reportedly Peterson’s fiancee.
    **********
    He was sentenced to 140 days in jail, but with time previously served and day-for-day credit, he should be out in about 50 days.

  24. Yes, it’s all very messy and all these men expect some sort of loyalty from Christina.

    If she could only just belief in herself, she wouldn’t need an explanation to any of them, least of all Bolingbrooks most notorious murder suspect !

  25. grandam Says:

    February 12, 2009 at 8:21 pm
    Is there any Grand Jury news??
    ———————–
    Grandam,
    Sorry to reprot,no grand jury yesterday due to Lincoln’s b-day.

  26. tamaraholder:

    Thanks for update on Christina phone. Going to try and get a hold of you. I have some questions about it.

  27. Good morning to you Whitesoxfan. Long time no see. To the new moderators of this site, thank you for taking it over. It looks great and is so easy to navigate. Also, thank you for keeping everybody in check here and not letting it turn into a trashy, name calling site as some of the sites regarding Stacy’s disappearance has turned into.

    Tamaraholder, thank you for your comments and insight into Chrissy Raines. You are so right about the name calling that is being done to her. To me she is not stupid, but a scared little girl trying to parent two small children who is making decisions that seem to us not to be in her best interest. It would seem to me rather than calling this girl names we should be praying that she starts making better decisions in her life. To me the way to do that is for her to get away from all the men, including her father and exboyfriend who are trying to control her life. Hopefully, she will come to her senses and think about doing this. In the meantime, maybe the name calling will stop. I sure hope so.

  28. tamaraholder Says:

    February 12, 2009 at 11:56 pm
    Had no clue Mike wasn’t the father of the children. Does anyone really know who the father is and his whereabouts?

    ***
    Sorry if my previous post had added confusion. I had read that Tony Yauk was the father (although I also read that it wasn’t confirmed via a paternity test).

    Here is a story about that:

    Yauk — the purported father of the two children of Drew Peterson’s latest love interest — was taken into custody after failing to appear for a court date ordered as part of his guilty plea to a 2006 domestic battery.

    The plea deal saw Yauk, 26, sentenced to 26 days in the county jail. He also was fined, ordered to attend domestic battery counseling and forbidden to make “offensive contact” with the victim of the battery, who happens to be 24-year-old Christina Raines, reportedly Peterson’s fiancee.

    Source: http://www.suburbanchicagonews.com/bolingbrooksun/news/1394911,Man-with-Drew-Peterson-ties-jailed-Jo012309.article

  29. My take on calling Chrissy names is that there are some people out there that have called Stacy all kinds of names for staying with Drew and keeping the secret of his confession and whereabouts on the night that Kitty died. What people forget is that there are people out there that are able to control those that are weak. They promise them the world and give them Hell instead.

    I think that it is a very sad testament to the root problems of DV that women knowingly go to men that could be trouble. This shows that we need more programs to help young girls that live in households with DV because they are usually the women that end up marrying into DV as well. And we also need more programs for young boys that grow up in a DV environment to help teach them anger management and how to respect women because they are not learning that at home.

  30. I agree 100% that we need to have more programs for women and men about DV. However, calling these women names does nothing but add to their already low self esteem. We train our children for everything in life it seems except how to pick a life long partner and how to raise children. Hopefully, we can be kinder toward Chrissy and hopes she realizes the mistake she has made and leave in time to save not only her life, but her children’s lives as well.

  31. As far as calling Stacy names for what she did in regards to Kathleen Savio, we will never know what she knew and what she didn’t know. I think Stacy paid for any mistakes she made regarding that case. Unfortunately for her and her children it was with her life.

  32. TTTTT – My point on discussing the fact that Stacy was being called names is because there is most people here would be bothered by people doing so. We absolutely don’t know what she knew or when she knew it. I do believe Pastor Schori statement that she told him something to that effect so it is possible that she did know. I’ve seen people on other forums call Stacy the same thing that people are calling Chrissy.

  33. tinetotellthetruth….I think that she seems to gravitate to men that are abusive judging by her other relationships, father of children is in jail, boyfriend Mike was abusive and now Drew (the daddy of them all). Women like her seem to be comfortable in that sort of situation and that is why she is not listening to all the negative things about Drew. But to call her a scared little girl, she is no longer a little girl at 24 when I was that age I was married with three kids and I didn’t consider myself a little girl.

  34. qhorses – I refer to any of the girls that Drew seems to like as “little girls” all the time now because that is the term that he uses to describe them.

    23/24 is a young woman IMO as well but I’ve used it to make a point that as old as he is that to him these are “little girls”.

  35. My husband was 35 years old when I married him. He was 15 years older than me and the age difference never mattered to him, he treated me as his equal. I guess that is the difference, but I was also headstrong and made my own decisions so a relationship with a man like Drew would not have worked for me…

  36. I just watched the interview on the Today Show from this morning. Oh, my gosh. The problem I have with all of this as I’m sure everybody else has is the circus this tragic case has become. I sure hope that Chrissy believes she is doing the right thing for her and her children. I just cannot understand it.

  37. I saw her interview during the breakup and she was so clearly under his mind control and really seemed possessed. She rolled her eyes staring at the ceiling and didn’t respond to many of the questions and the silence was quite long.

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